Back to Chennai this year again I could not workup a mood to perform or even play the veena.I flew to San Diego to be with my daughter for 4 months. Except for my good friends like Sri.G.J.R.Krishnan and Sri Trichur Narendran, not many people were aware of the fact that I was taking a break .I noticed that in all my break time, I never once missed music, veena or even performing. I hardly thought of music, my mind was still, all I could listen to were the latest genres of western music on my daughter's music system in her car. Nothing touched me, nothing moved me, I went into a vacuum and felt nothing. I wondered how much more longer my detached state of mind would last. By the end of the third month in the US , I found that I was humming hindolam to myself, at first I did not notice it, then it registered in me that I had started to hum not only hindolam,but many more ragas like behaag, mohana kalyani, rithigowla, surati, madhyamavathi, sama, arabhi.......... I also took a long, hard look at my left hand forefinger and middle finger, concerned whether they were fit to press against my veena strings. I then realised with a bang that I needed to get back to my veena! This realisation, rapidly grew into impatience and by the time I landed in Chennai on September 1st, 2009, I was missing my veena desperately.
On arrival I rushed to my bedroom, where my veena stood next to my cot as usual, (my mother had taken the pains of cleaning the veena in my absence). I hugged my veena for a long time, sensing the receptive vibes from my veena.
I had not planned on performing, I only needed to be with my veena, listen to my veena's sweet and loving speech. My veena was obviously very cut up with me for leaving her behind and going away! She refused to speak to me for a long time, my fingers, due to long lapse from practice could not bring out a single word from her. I was worried and concerned, I did everything to woo her, I coaxed her, pleaded with her, indefatigable in my attempts despite terrific pain in my hands and shoulders and blisters on my fingers. During night time, whenever I woke up to drink water, I would again attempt fresh talks with my veena which is always kept next to my bed. Despite sleepless nights, I pushed myself out of the bed at 4 in the mornings to sit with my veena.
All the push ups and stretches I had learnt from Mr. Kannan of YMCA and ortho exercises for postural problems from Dr.Krishnaraman were next on my agenda. Amidst such hectic activity and battling the pain in my right leg, the first call came from SVBC TV Channel, inviting me to perform in Tirumala for their channel on October 29th. I felt it was God asking me to perform again. Immediately the next call came from Sri. Mudhra Bhaskar inviting me to perform on October 10th for Veenotsav'09. I will be facing an audience on the 10th of October for the first time after a long lapse filled with uncertainity of whether I would get back to perfoming or not!